Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Why I hate Halloween

First, I know I was supposed to get my Manufactured Newborn post up. That was delayed by testing on what I can do with Bob.

I told you my name is Cham.

Shut the fuck up Bob or I'm giving you another two hours of Happy Fun Time.

Shutting up.

More on Bob in a little bit, but first about the title. I used to love Halloween. Then I found out what the world was really like. These days I can't go out or answer the door on Halloween. It's not that I'm scared of Them or their servants, I'm scared of me. Some of you may have noticed my slight tendency towards paranoia, Halloween does not help with that.

Is that guy in the mask a Proxy or are they just on their way to a party? What about that lady dressed as a marionette? And the guy who walked past my house five minutes ago. Was that just a monkey costume or did fucking Mikey from that God damned show that replaced Candle Cove just walk through my neighborhood? Called in an anonymous tip after I saw him so the police would increase the surveillance on Janice just in case. I'm not letting out any secrets when I say this is the one night of the year that these fuckers are safe in my neighborhood. I just can't take the risk that I'll make a mistake and kill someone who's on their way to a costume party.

Now about Bob. There are several reasons I've been able to keep control with him in here. Primarily there's the fact that he's weak and I'm very single minded giving me a sort of strength of will. Also soon after I found out what was really going on with the world I began trying to strengthen my mind. Enough of the Fears have a negative effect on peoples mental states that I figured a regimen of meditation would help strengthen my will and maybe keep some of the worst at bay. And when I learned of the Grotesque I began practicing lucid dreaming techniques just in case they might help. It was the later that gave me the punishment I use when Bob gets on my nerves.

It's probably not going to shock many of you to hear that there is a part of my mind where my first kill takes place over and over again in a never ending loop of blood and screaming with my laughter over it all. The man took twenty minutes to die. It would have been longer but I wasn't good at preventing shock and blood loss. When Bob deserves Happy Fun Time I put Bob into the body of the man who killed my wife and he lives through what I did to him over and over until I let him out again. So if I gave him that threatened two hours he would live through that pain and fear six times before I let him out again. It's safe to say Bob does not like Happy Fun Time.

As for what I can get Bob to do . . .

As it turns out Bob is weak enough that while I can coerce some benefit out of him I'm not going to close gaping wounds in minutes. I can get him to heal bumps and bruises that would last a day or two in a couple hours. I might be able to prevent myself from bleeding out if an ambulance can get to me fast enough in a real emergency. Someone suggested increasing strength, speed, and agility. He can, but I only wind up able to lift about twenty five pounds more than normal. Speed and agility increases are proportional with the strength boost. So, useful but not exactly super powers. And I wind up paying with an annoying rash, headaches, and nausea. No matter how much Happy Fun Time I threaten him with there's nothing Bob can do to prevent that, it's simply the nature of the Dying Man.

My other thought was that I might be able to use him for information. It turns out that while Bob does know many things his information is not reliable. It's not that he lies to me, he only did the once. Right Bob?

Never again. Don't you think six hours of Happy Fun Time was a little excessive?

Don't talk back Bob or you'll get more. No, the problem with his information is Dimensional Bleeding. Bob, it turns out, is not a local. Among other issues where Bob came from JCarlson did chase after Janice when she was kidnapped, but the man who was allegedly Omega (I'm still not convinced any such person as the Unlucky Man actually exists) didn't show up and he was killed by that bell ringer who attacked him.

So, I'm still in control of Bob and I'm getting some use out of him. It's about time to lock my door and be sure my lights are out.

Stay Alert, Stay Alive.


  1. Perhaps he could manifest as a more intense injury to lessen the nausea and rashes. Just a thought.

    1. . . . I don't see how that would do me any good at all. The nausea and rashes are side effects of the accelerated healing and strength boosts such as they are. Manifesting wounds would be counter productive.

  2. You call our brother Bob?

    It's no secret that I hate that I am called the Coward, but Bob? Why is it no one respects us Dying Man Shards.

    If sister wasn't so happy for killing that pesky Shifter, I think she would kill you.

    ~The Coward and The Parasite

  3. So my Shards these days. Sometimes I think there's a piece inside all of us, just waiting for a chance to get out...

    1. Not inside trying to get out, but outside, waiting for you to Let. Us. In.

      - The God of Fear

  4. For good for for bad, Cham, you are stuck in his body. Weak piece of shit. Can't you Let Yourself In on something important from his dead wife or was he smart enough to deny you escape routes?

    Either way, disappointing. When I was as weak as you, it was I that did the torture with the mind, not the other way around.

    And thus Proxie is more of a pest than before.


    1. There's a reason his new catch phrase is "Let me *out*." He tried once, and only once. It didn't *work* and that was his first taste of Happy Fun Time. He doesn't possess me I possess him. The only way he's getting out is for a short visit into a Birdbrain. I remember what Faceless said would happen if a Dying Man shard entered a Nest. After the birds eat their way out he'd be right back home.

    2. hey , proxiehunter , I know vlogs aint your thing , but I got one coming down the pipe , and its a rare opertunity , a chance to kill the fears while there still young , ignorant , malformed , and generaly weaker then they are in your universe , my names jim cable , and I advise people , and , I live in a universe that can conect things , you and him for example , you'll need the ability to live stream to do it but , wanna kill the fears before they were born?

  5. I steal so many people on Halloween. It's funny what you can get away with if you're cleaver about it.

  6. I'm not sure when or if you'll get this or if you are still alive but you really need to see it.

    She's number 4.

  7. What an interesting blog. Sorry to just kinda barge in, but I felt since you gave my blog the time of day, I should do the same for you.

    Now uh, is this a type of horror story blog? Or something of that sort? Seems very well written, though I have no idea what is going on in this post.

  8. Halloween was such a pain this year. I was hunting this idiot slender proxie for a measly 500 bucks ( got to do what you got to do ) and guess what his chosen apparel was? A mask and a hoodie! I had to stalk people around until I found the right guy, I saw him about to path out so I yanked him back from his hood and stabbed him. Then I had to string him up ( as per employers request ) and make him look like a decoration. Tedious work I tell you. Oh, and merry Christmas Proxie, I am Adam.

  9. Ooooooh, you're the lovely little Helper who posted on my helper's blog! He's dead now, just so you know, but that's okay. It looks like there are a looooooottt of people waiting to die who comment on your blog, too...