Saturday, December 31, 2011

Why the change to my blog description?

Knowing how paranoid I'd be about a sudden change to someone's blog I thought I'd let you know whats up. My original description was "Antequam moriar servio" which I thought was Latin for "I will die before I serve". Recently I discovered that I (or more accurately Google) had fucked up the translation and written something that meant "Before I die I serve". Not at all the same message. After asking for some translation help I changed the motto to "Mallem Mori Quam Servire" which I understand to be Latin for "I'd rather die than serve."

I'm sure you're all wondering where my post on the common Slenderproxy is as well. That lady following me around hasn't given me enough space for me to feel safe sitting around long enough to type it up. So far she hasn't done anything more than look suspicious so she's still breathing. And annoying me. I should be able to get it written sometime this weekend though.

Monday, December 26, 2011

What is a Proxy and why do they need to die?

I'm sure some of you are confused as to what exactly qualifies as a Proxy, and even more of you wonder about my crusade against them. So before I go into specific types of Proxy and how to tell them from each other and from normal people I thought I'd answer those two questions.

A Proxy is the worst sort of Quisling, a traitor who has betrayed their own species by doing the dirty work of Slenderman or beings of similar power and malevolence. Many of them are sad shells of their former selves, but that makes them no less dangerous and no more deserving of mercy. Some people say we should try to save them, I say most are too far gone to save. It doesn't matter if you're a deluded cultist or a pathetic street thug looking to throw his lot in with something far more powerful (Hi Riddley!) once you're out there kidnapping children, stalking and terrorizing people to soften them up for your master, or gutting someones spouse and hanging her organs from a tree to imitate the hideous being you serve you've turned in you humanity card. When an animal goes rabid you don't try sending it to therapy, you put it down to protect everyone in the community and spare it from it's pain.

However just because one of these things has tricked or manipulated you into doing something it wanted that doesn't make you a Proxy. JCarlson isn't a Proxy because of what he was forced to do in Chicago, he's a victim as surely as the people the Wooden Girl fed into the meat grinder of his blade in an attempt to break him. And despite what she says Jeanette is no Proxy. Her, Chelsea, and Tara are victims of the Smiling Man as much as those who he's left a bouquet for. He's manipulated them into doing things that served his ends yes, but not one of them has done anything to procure other victims for Him, hell they try to save His potential victims. Now Jeanette, if you'd actually killed those kids way back when you were contemplating it I'd be singing a different tune right now. But in my book you're no damn Proxy.

Damn it. Got to move. The woman who's been following me all day just walked in the bar. I don't think she's with the tall skinny bastard but that Stepford smile and excessively submissive posture give me a few ideas about who she might be with. Of course I could just be paranoid, but better safe than sorry. Don't worry folks I never get stabby unless I'm certain I'm dealing with a Proxy. When I get a chance I'll be back with the first in my series of posts about specific kinds of Proxy, starting with the Slenderproxy.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

What every runner should own

Well, if you read the comments section you'll know that yesterdays target turned out to be not a Proxy but a perv. I only kill those who serve the monsters that use us as pawns in their game so I left him bleeding on the ground after a sound beating instead. There were enough witnesses to him trying to snatch that kid that he was arrested and the cops aren't looking for me that hard. So, on to my promised topic. What are the things that every runner should have? I know that many of us don't have a lot of time to prepare before we get thrown into the meat grinder that is the life of a Runner but these things are simple to acquire even if you're already on the road. Although some of you may have to resort to tactics like shoplifting to get them, the Runners life isn't exactly filled with great career opportunities.  Be careful if you decide to shoplift though, keep moving and you stay alive. It's hard to do that from a jail cell.

Let's start with the obvious:

A Runner should have a back pack or duffel bag in which to carry their belongings. Not all of us have a car, hell I know of a few who had to hit the streets before they were old enough to have a license, so you can't necessarily just throw all your shit in the trunk. Even if you have a car it might break down in a way you can't afford to repair. Or you might have to abandon it just because you can't afford the gas.

You should have at least one change of clothing. Preferably more. If you're on the road wash it (and bath) when you can. People will be more helpful and cops more friendly if you don't look like you rolled out of the gutter and smell like you rolled out of the sewer. You also want good hiking shoes. No one needs blisters.

Less obviously:

A flash light. It's best if you can get one of the extremely bright models but anything that will help you find your way in the dark is useful. However the brighter models can be used to blind an assailant giving you a chance to flee - or attack. Some models are even made so sturdily they can be used as a makeshift club without damaging the flashlight. These are clearly the preferred model for any Runner.

A knife. "Oh look, Proxiehunter is recommending we stab things again!"  not necessarily folks. In this case you want a knife of some sort because it's an invaluable tool. For example, if a Proxy has tied up one of your friends you'll want something to saw at the ropes with. Or you might want to carve a warning for the next Runner to come by into a park bench. If you don't intend to fight with it you can probably use the knife that will be a part of your . . .

Multi-tool. At the very least you want your model to include pliers, philips and flathead screwdrivers, a knife, scissors, a small saw, and a can opener. The more tools it has the better though.

A weapon. Even if you aren't at war with them like me you'll probably be attacked by somethings Proxy at some point in your Running. You could even have to defend yourself from a normal person who wants to harm you for some reason. Now, I prefer my Military Issue Marine Combat Knife. It's seven inch carbon steel blade is nice and sharp and the black phosphate coating keeps light from glinting off the blade if I'm trying to take a target by surprise. It even has a nice steel buttcap for if I want to club someone unconscious instead of slice them to ribbons. For the rest of you I recommend whatever you feel comfortable using. Pepper spray or a taser can be good against mostly human attackers, but don't expect them to help much against a Puppet (they aren't the ones moving their limbs so pain, blindness, and seizing muscles don't help you much) or against Slenderproxy that's so far gone they don't feel pain. You want it to be something you're comfortable using, no swords if your most experience with a blade is watching Highlander for example, and something that is either inconspicuous (a baseball bat or a cane are easy to explain) or easily concealed. Despite the examples set by Hunter and Jeanette what you don't want is a gun. Guns are loud. The sound of a gunshot will bring cops down on you faster than the sound of a knife fight. Also crossing state lines with a gun, even if you were allowed to legally carry in your origination state is a bad idea. And don't get me started on the additional time you'll do if you're caught with a gun while committing another crime (B&E to steal some food or get a shower for example). One last reason you don't want a gun: I've never missed with my knife and killed a child a block away. You can't say the same for a gun.

Non-perishable food. You might not always be able to afford food and soup kitchens should be a last resort (I've heard rumors of Proxies looking for Runners to target at soup kitchens) and granola bars, dried fruit, and jerky are better than eating out of a dumpster.

Money. Any you could take with you when you ran. Keep most of it somewhere it will be safe from pickpockets. Your shoe is one option but may be uncomfortable long term. If you still have a bank account your ATM card/Debit Card/Credit card can keep you solvent but be careful they can help track your movements.

A pre-paid cellphone. Even without minutes you can use it to dial 911 if you're bleeding out on the side of the road. If you CAN afford minutes it can help communicate with other Runners. I recommend avoiding communication with friends and family who aren't already in our situation, no point dragging them into this. If you think someone is using it to track you somehow ditch it and get another.

A blanket and/or sleeping bag. You will probably have to sleep on the street at some point. It gets cold out there.

A first aid kit. The bigger and more well stocked it is the better but don't buy one of the huge ones meant to be mounted on the wall at a work place unless you have a vehicle to keep it in or a home base. Even if you do have a larger one and someplace to keep it get one that fits in your backpack/duffel bag with the rest of your possessions. You might need first aid while away from the larger kit.

This last is more of a recommendation than a requirement. A copy of "How to Cheat at everything" by Simon Lovell. It's full of tricky bar bets that can help you stretch you money and outright scams if you get truly desperate. Just be careful not to catch a beating or get arrested for scamming someone.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I always said I wasn't going to start my own blog

But there are so many Runners out there, more every day it seems, and new or old it seems you sometimes need some advice. I know what a lot of you are thinking, "It's Proxiehunter" you're saying to yourselves "He's going to advise us to stab it with a knife." Others of you may actually remember advice I've given in your comments sections that didn't involve killing something, and in at least one case advice to not kill in that specific situation. Besides knives aren't for everyone they require a lot of skill to use well and a strong stomach. The results tend to be messy.

"So," you ask, "what is he going to talk about here besides how to kill a Proxy?" Well, for one thing I'm going to teach you how to identify Proxies. Not just the masked bastards of tall dark and faceless who got me started on my crusade, but the servants of other eldrich beings like the Puppets of the Wooden Girl James Carlson is dealing with, or the Camper of EAT, the Convocations nests, or the disturbing new implications of the Cold Boy gathering Proxies of his own. I'll help you figure out which can be fought if you're the type to do so and which you should run away from nearly as fast as you'd run from their master. I'll give information on how to tell when Slenderman or another Fear is up to something in your area and what to do if you think you or someone you know is being stalked by one of Them. I'll give tips on how to survive and tips on how to avoid getting arrested.

I've got a lot more rules than three so this is going to take some time. For now I'm just going to answer one question I'm sure some of you have been wondering about. Why did I misspell my user name? Well, doing what I do I run the risk of concussion. I happened to be suffering one when I made the first account under this name and I didn't notice the misspelling until I'd been using it so long it would be difficult to change. So now I'm stuck with Proxie instead of the proper Proxy. Sometime tomorrow I'll get on and post my "things every Runner should have". But now, that twitchy guy I've had my eye on is leaving the library. Time for me to follow him and make sure he's not about to put on a mask and snatch someone for the tall bastard.