Thursday, December 22, 2011

What every runner should own

Well, if you read the comments section you'll know that yesterdays target turned out to be not a Proxy but a perv. I only kill those who serve the monsters that use us as pawns in their game so I left him bleeding on the ground after a sound beating instead. There were enough witnesses to him trying to snatch that kid that he was arrested and the cops aren't looking for me that hard. So, on to my promised topic. What are the things that every runner should have? I know that many of us don't have a lot of time to prepare before we get thrown into the meat grinder that is the life of a Runner but these things are simple to acquire even if you're already on the road. Although some of you may have to resort to tactics like shoplifting to get them, the Runners life isn't exactly filled with great career opportunities.  Be careful if you decide to shoplift though, keep moving and you stay alive. It's hard to do that from a jail cell.

Let's start with the obvious:

A Runner should have a back pack or duffel bag in which to carry their belongings. Not all of us have a car, hell I know of a few who had to hit the streets before they were old enough to have a license, so you can't necessarily just throw all your shit in the trunk. Even if you have a car it might break down in a way you can't afford to repair. Or you might have to abandon it just because you can't afford the gas.

You should have at least one change of clothing. Preferably more. If you're on the road wash it (and bath) when you can. People will be more helpful and cops more friendly if you don't look like you rolled out of the gutter and smell like you rolled out of the sewer. You also want good hiking shoes. No one needs blisters.

Less obviously:

A flash light. It's best if you can get one of the extremely bright models but anything that will help you find your way in the dark is useful. However the brighter models can be used to blind an assailant giving you a chance to flee - or attack. Some models are even made so sturdily they can be used as a makeshift club without damaging the flashlight. These are clearly the preferred model for any Runner.

A knife. "Oh look, Proxiehunter is recommending we stab things again!"  not necessarily folks. In this case you want a knife of some sort because it's an invaluable tool. For example, if a Proxy has tied up one of your friends you'll want something to saw at the ropes with. Or you might want to carve a warning for the next Runner to come by into a park bench. If you don't intend to fight with it you can probably use the knife that will be a part of your . . .

Multi-tool. At the very least you want your model to include pliers, philips and flathead screwdrivers, a knife, scissors, a small saw, and a can opener. The more tools it has the better though.

A weapon. Even if you aren't at war with them like me you'll probably be attacked by somethings Proxy at some point in your Running. You could even have to defend yourself from a normal person who wants to harm you for some reason. Now, I prefer my Military Issue Marine Combat Knife. It's seven inch carbon steel blade is nice and sharp and the black phosphate coating keeps light from glinting off the blade if I'm trying to take a target by surprise. It even has a nice steel buttcap for if I want to club someone unconscious instead of slice them to ribbons. For the rest of you I recommend whatever you feel comfortable using. Pepper spray or a taser can be good against mostly human attackers, but don't expect them to help much against a Puppet (they aren't the ones moving their limbs so pain, blindness, and seizing muscles don't help you much) or against Slenderproxy that's so far gone they don't feel pain. You want it to be something you're comfortable using, no swords if your most experience with a blade is watching Highlander for example, and something that is either inconspicuous (a baseball bat or a cane are easy to explain) or easily concealed. Despite the examples set by Hunter and Jeanette what you don't want is a gun. Guns are loud. The sound of a gunshot will bring cops down on you faster than the sound of a knife fight. Also crossing state lines with a gun, even if you were allowed to legally carry in your origination state is a bad idea. And don't get me started on the additional time you'll do if you're caught with a gun while committing another crime (B&E to steal some food or get a shower for example). One last reason you don't want a gun: I've never missed with my knife and killed a child a block away. You can't say the same for a gun.

Non-perishable food. You might not always be able to afford food and soup kitchens should be a last resort (I've heard rumors of Proxies looking for Runners to target at soup kitchens) and granola bars, dried fruit, and jerky are better than eating out of a dumpster.

Money. Any you could take with you when you ran. Keep most of it somewhere it will be safe from pickpockets. Your shoe is one option but may be uncomfortable long term. If you still have a bank account your ATM card/Debit Card/Credit card can keep you solvent but be careful they can help track your movements.

A pre-paid cellphone. Even without minutes you can use it to dial 911 if you're bleeding out on the side of the road. If you CAN afford minutes it can help communicate with other Runners. I recommend avoiding communication with friends and family who aren't already in our situation, no point dragging them into this. If you think someone is using it to track you somehow ditch it and get another.

A blanket and/or sleeping bag. You will probably have to sleep on the street at some point. It gets cold out there.

A first aid kit. The bigger and more well stocked it is the better but don't buy one of the huge ones meant to be mounted on the wall at a work place unless you have a vehicle to keep it in or a home base. Even if you do have a larger one and someplace to keep it get one that fits in your backpack/duffel bag with the rest of your possessions. You might need first aid while away from the larger kit.

This last is more of a recommendation than a requirement. A copy of "How to Cheat at everything" by Simon Lovell. It's full of tricky bar bets that can help you stretch you money and outright scams if you get truly desperate. Just be careful not to catch a beating or get arrested for scamming someone.


  1. I know what I'm getting myself for the holidays.

  2. Jesus, you can tell a guy wrote this.

    Girls: bring tampons with you. Have some on you at all times. You might not have time to run to the store. When it comes to that time, you might want to prepare beforehand, just in case. Knife wielding psychos aren't going to listen if you try to call time out because it's your happy fun bloody uterus rebellion time.

    On the same note, keep some of your pain killer of choice on hand. You'll find yourself in situations where you can't afford to be immobilized by cramps.

  3. You're right that I forgot the tampons. On the other hand the pain killers, as long as they're not prescription, should be part of that well stocked first aid kit. When you need to buy more my wife, and I'll strangle Archie with whatever these Fear bastards have for guts if I see her again, used to recommend Naproxen for cramps.

  4. thank you for the advice. personally, i find that not only are guns loud, they don't do much good against monsters. perhaps proxies can be killed by bullets, but faceless abominations and golems cannot.

  5. I've never claimed I could fight the monsters themselves. But at least I can keep their servants from adding to the body count.

  6. What if your broke and have none of those things what would you recommend?

  7. Well Robert, if you're that totally screwed dumpster diving might be able to get you the backpack/duffel bag, something serviceable as a weapon, and the blanket. Hell it could possibly get you anything on the list (but don't count on it and it will probably be in poor condition) you'd be surprised what people throw out. You'll probably be eating more often at soup kitchens despite the danger of being spotted by a Proxy using the kitchen as cover to hunt Runners and they may be willing and able to donate you some cloths and a blanket as well.

    For the rest I would first recommend trying to GET money. You're going to need money anyway at some point. To get money I'd recommend trying to do odd jobs for people, begging, or if you have any talent do some busking (for those unfamiliar with the term that's a fancy word for performing for tips on a street corner). Sometimes if you're dumpster diving you might find something that can be cleaned up and sold to a pawn shop.

    Trade with another Runner. Obviously this only works if you have something you both can spare, but it might be that bag of jerky that's uncomfortably close to it's sell by date could be his dinner tonight in exchange for his spare pocket knife.

    Only as a last resort go for scams, theft, and other unsavory means of making money. You do what you need to survive, but you aren't going to be able to run from whatever's after you in a jail cell. For those who think along the same lines I do I'm sad to tell you that stabbing Proxies doesn't pay well, they rarely have more in their pockets than your average Runner.

    You can even resort to shoplifting or otherwise stealing the item you need.

  8. Knowing the filthy minds some Runners have I should probably clarify that when I say performing on a street corner I mean playing an instrument or singing a song or something. The other kind of "performing on a street corner" goes under unsavory means to be avoided if at all possible.

  9. sir, on the topic of nests, have you considered prometheus's gift?

  10. I can vouch for the Soup Kitchen trick I fucking invented that plan.

    Go in there looking like everybody else and keep cool and you should be okay. You never know who is watching you or serving the food.

    For gods sake no markings, if you are in a group have one person facing each way at a table so as to avoid the nervous twitch and don't be too clean or too dirty on arrival. Don't stand out.

  11. Blend in. Go with the flow, be exactly who people expect you to be in any given situation.

    Or, you can do what I do, and just stab anyone in the face that looks like they're possessed or want to kill you. It works remarkably well.

    I think Defenders Against Slenders had a self defense post, if you'd like the link...?

  12. I never realized there were legitimate sources of information, for people like us.

    I'm a bit late to the game, but I must be doing something right. Still, I suppose research never hurts.

  13. I'm new in the community, but you can call me Ronin. I'm 17, and being stalked by something. it taps on my window at night, and I've seen a lot of suspicious people on my street lately. If anyone knows what this Thing is, reply please.

  14. Hello, I am new here I was wondering if I could find some place to stay... I have been running for a month now... I consider myself to be neutral. I am running from something called The Sight. Can any one help me please

    1. Marcus, If you read this, please visit my blog and contact me.
      I can help. No-one seems to be around anymore.
      Maybe they're not active, or worse, but I don't have a good feeling about this. Remember the rules.

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